Lunchtime
by Zombiebrainz
Summary: archie is whining about food. maxie just wants to read his book. the many dilemmas of being in a relationship with an obnoxious sea-lover. [ hardenshipping, maxie/archie, maxie x archie, one shot, i have a headache ]


"Maxie, I'm hungryyy."

The sharp, incessant whine of Archie managed to soar of the drone of the television, but it also helped with their close proximity. Archie's complaint practically drilled itself into his ears even though the man's head was currently settled on his lap rather than press against his skull. That obnoxious voice of him could get anywhere.  
The redhead carefully marked his place in his book with a bookmark, checking that it trailed just above the sentence he had left off on before snapping it shut, setting it on the neighboring empty cushion.

"Then what to do you want?" Maxie inquired patiently, having learned that patience was key with Archie. Otherwise he would have lost his mind a long time ago—or more precisely, the day they started dating. Why exactly he had fallen for this man who could be so obnoxious and so needy at times, he was uncertain.  
Archie opened his mouth, closing it in contemplation, shutting his eyes.  
"I dunno, do we have any of that leftover seafood—"  
"You're not eating that. It's probably gone bad by now."  
Archie opened his eyes to try and make protest, only to be interrupted by slender fingers combing through his hair, rubbing tenderly against his scalp.  
Any words of protest that had been surging up his throat were promptly replaced by a purr of satisfaction, Archie pushing his head into Maxie's touch.

"You're like a god damn Glameow sometimes," Maxie muttered, watching how easily distracted Archie became with his touch.  
"Too bad I'm your Glameow," hummed Archie in reply, grinning as Maxie made a face.  
"Let's not delve into that…"  
Maxie's hands fell away from Archie's hair and as if the curse was broken, Archie sat upright.  
"_Food_," Archie repeated, his voice far more firm as he redirected them to the original subject. Maxie rolled his eyes, picking up his book.

"Let me know when you figure something out," the redhead grunted, getting to his feet. He could feel Archie's eyes trailing after him as he went to the conjoining kitchen, setting his book on the counter divided the living room and kitchen.  
" Why don't we go out?"  
"I'm not in the mood."  
"Take-out?"  
"That's almost the same as going out."  
Archie puffed out his cheeks, thinking deeply as Maxie shot down his first two options without a care.  
"… What do we have here?"

Jumping to his feet, Archie glided past Maxie and into the kitchen, fishing around through the cabinets.  
Maxie, trying to decide whether or not to turn off the television that was on commercial break, grimaced as he heard the fridge slammed after being opened.  
"What did I tell you about slamming the fridge?!"  
Turning back sharply, he glowered, Archie smiling sheepishly.  
"… Sorry?"  
Sighing, Maxie ran a hand through his hair, trying to resist the temptation to call Archie a child. Which was what he was.

"What are you doing…?"

Maxie forced himself to drop the insults churning up in his mind as he looked over. Archie had conjured a beer from presumably the fridge, the redhead scowling as he cracked the can open.  
"Beer is not food, Archie."  
There was a moment of silence, Archie staring Maxie dead in the eyes, and then he took a swig—while still maintaining eye contact.  
Maxie groaned, a hand pulling at his hair—a better option than the other idea he had in mind, being to pull Archie's hair out.  
"You are an actual child, I swear to god," Maxie sputtered in frustration, Archie smiling around the rim of the beer can, setting it on the countertop.

"You saying you're a pedophile, Maxie?" he teased, Maxie's eyes going wide before screwing shut, burying his face in his hands.  
"Oh, Christ—"  
"You said it yourself, Maxie!"  
Was there a button he could press to back out of this?  
An emergency button specifically created for this moment, to escape the insanity which was Archie? Dragging his palms down his face, letting his hands drop, Maxie gave Archie a silent, grim look.

"… Don't look at me like that, Maxie."  
The look didn't fade and Archie shifted uncomfortably, his cocky look fading into discomfort.  
"Maaaaaxiiiiiie, I'm just kidding around with you! Y'know I'm not being serious!"  
Maxie's dark look was practically slicing into his soul, Archie feeling his skin crawl with a sudden sense of guilt.  
Unable to stand there and just endure the uncomfortable sensation, he set his beer down.  
"Don't get near me," Maxie hissed, already knowing what Archie had in mind, seeing him approach.  
The redhead pressed back, only to find himself trapped by the counter, his eyes snapping back to see what was keeping him from certain escape.  
Looking back to judge how much time he had to make a run for it, it was too late—he yelped as hands seized him, an arm encircling his waist and dragging him close.

"S-stop!" Maxie sputtered helplessly as he was grabbed, his hands pressing up against Archie's chest, though there was no stopping him.  
Squirming as lips attacked his neck with firm kisses, Maxie yelped as one of Archie's hands dragged up his side, able to feel his fingertips scraping close even through his shirt.  
What Archie didn't anticipate was the sudden giggle that came from that—Maxie shrunk away from his touch with an unwilling snort, Archie pulling back to look at him.  
Their eyes connected, Maxie slapping a hand over his mouth, eyes going wide.  
"… N-no, no, Archie-!"  
Squirming to try and get out of Archie's grasp, Maxie failed—pulled back tight and feeling hands dance across his sides, just light enough for the sensation to hit and for him to writhe in reflex.

Busting out into a laughing fit, Maxie helplessly pushed against Archie weakly as the other delighted in just how ticklish he apparently was—something the redhead had been managing to keep on the down low for quite some time until apparently now.  
"You never told me you were _ticklish_," exclaimed Archie, squeezing Maxie's sides, feeling the other man nearly buckle over, Maxie instead pushing back against Archie.  
"I-I didn't _want—"  
_Maxie's attempt at explanation was interrupted by a series of giggles and snorts, his hands pawing at Archie's as he squirmed.  
"Stooooooop!" he whined, barely able to choke out anything coherent over his laughter, his hand clutching to Archie's left bicep, digging in.

"If you give me a kiss, I'll stop," Archie sang, his fingertips pushing lightly against Maxie's ribcage.  
"A-alright, alright! J-j-just _stop!_"  
Upholding his promise, Archie released his iron grip on Maxie, the redhead heaving, taking a long, deep breath. Exhaling, wiping the tears that were brimming his eyes as he was finally given a chance to breathe, looking back and giving Archie a dirty look.  
"… You're a terrible man," he muttered, Archie grinning as Maxie's hand brushed his cheek, keeping his word as he leaned in, providing Archie the kiss he had requested.  
Lips lingering for a moment, feeling Archie's hand brush against his lower back, Maxie pulled away before it could be made any deeper, flicking Archie's nose.

"Ow!"  
"That's for not letting me go," he growled, ignoring Archie's pout as he looked about the kitchen.  
"Now, what are we going to make?"  
Remembering what he had originally been in there for, Archie looked around as well. With something in mind, he moved away from Maxie, who was still recovering from what had just occurred, rubbing his sides tenderly as Archie crouched down in front of the lower cabinets.  
Procuring a box of Rice Krispies and a bag of marshmallows, Archie looked back with a grin at Maxie, receiving a dead stare.  
"You want… Rice Krispie treats? Really?"  
Archie's pout was beginning to return and Maxie threw up his hands, shaking his head.

"Nevermind, nevermind, whatever—we'll make it."  
Maxie was relieved that Archie wasn't about to go after him again, suppressing a sigh as he went about getting what he needed.  
"You still are a child, and I'm not a god damn pedophile," Maxie grumbled, trying to ignore every fiber in his being that was screaming that cereal drenched in melted marshmallow was not a good lunchtime meal. Checking the time, it was one pm—definitely not time for a snack or a dessert.  
Nonetheless, he kept it to himself lest he suffered another tickle attack by Archie, opening the fridge and finding butter.

Cutting the package in half and dumping one half into a pot, Archie peered over his shoulder curiously as Maxie grabbed the marshmallows and cereal box.  
"… You already know what to do?" Archie remarked, watching the methodical process of turning on the heat, melting the butter, pouring in the marshmallows.  
"I babysat a lot when I was younger," muttered Maxie, ignoring Archie as he went about his business, trying to be mindful of not letting either the marshmallows stick to the inside of the pot or them to simply burn if not being stirred constantly with the wooden spoon he pulled out of a drawer.  
"I learned to make a lot of things to get the kids to shut up."

Archie rested his chin on Maxie's shoulder, watching the redhead continue to work.  
"… So, does that mean you like kids? Should we adopt some?"  
Maxie flinched, sending Archie a look.  
"We've only been dating for a year, now is not the time to discuss children—"  
"You're mommy material already, Maxie—_Ow!_"  
Archie whined as he was struck with the blunt end of the spoon, pulling back and rubbing the now tender spot on his skull where he had been hit.  
"Could ya hit me any harder?"  
"I could. Don't test me."

Mumbling something about how Maxie would end up being an abusive mother, the next death stare he got was enough to make Archie back off and give him room.  
"Go and make yourself useful by getting me a pan," Maxie grumbled as he stirred, Archie perking up at the opportunity of redeeming himself.  
A pan was retrieved and deemed suitable with a nod from Maxie, who was presently pouring the cereal into the melted marshmallow-butter mix.  
Watching him, having nothing better to do, Archie propped his elbow up on the countertop, his chin settling in his palm as he observed Maxie lower the heat and mix everything together.

"… Y'know, I never tell you how much I love you that often," murmured Archie, Maxie looking at him briefly, scraping the marshmallow-cereal mix into the pan.  
"What has gotten you into such a deep mood? Are you really that hungry?"  
Maxie snorted, though it didn't change how thoughtful Archie looked, his gaze drifting up from Maxie pressing down the cereal into the pan to the redhead himself, who seemed quite focused.  
"There—now it just needs to sit," declared Maxie with a tone of satisfaction, setting the spoon back in the dirty pot, standing back and admiring his work.

He was somewhat surprised that Archie wasn't impatiently complaining about wanting them now, looking over to ask when he found out exactly what was distracting Archie. Arms wrapped around his waist, tugging him close, but unlike the last time, they weren't rough and hard, giving Maxie more than enough room to escape if he so desired.  
Instead, he peered curiously into Archie's face, waiting to see what he was planning on doing.

Maxie only had a few seconds to establish what the other man was planning before a sweet kiss was planted on his lips, one of Archie's hands pushing through his hair. Shivering, he pushed himself a bit closer, opening his mouth to let the kiss deepen into what Archie had wanted before, his arms gradually wrapping around his lover's neck as he kept him close.  
The necessity to breathe, however, had Maxie pulling back first, his forehead still rubbing against Archie's as he twirled a strand of the other man's hair in between his fingertips.  
"You can be so odd sometimes," he murmured against Archie's lips, closing his eyes for a moment.  
"You go from being an ass to affectionate—is there some switch in your head?"

They were so close that Maxie could feel Archie's chest rumble with a chuckle, one last quick kiss pressed to his lips before Archie broke away.  
"Sometimes I just look at you and remember why, even after all that madness, I managed to fall for you."  
Maxie blinked, watching Archie leave the kitchen to go see what was on the TV.  
He never really did find out why exactly Archie had chosen to try and woo him after their teams were disbanded, after their long few years of rivalry.  
Archie's mind was a puzzle he still was trying to solve.

Glancing back at the pan, he grabbed a butter knife and cut himself out a piece, munching down on it as he watched Archie flick through the channels.  
"These aren't too shabby," Maxie mumbled around a sweet mouthful.  
Maybe these weren't that bad of a lunchtime snack after all.

Cutting out another piece, Maxie left behind the dirty dishes to be cleaned later, going to join Archie on the couch.  
Promptly was he pulled in close, the redhead letting himself be moved so that he was resting up against the other man's chest, practically in his lap by now.  
There was some game show playing now, the contestant playing for some sum of money plus some gear for their pokemon, but the sound was low enough that it was only a distant hum in the background.

"Open your mouth."  
Archie blinked, but complied, taking a bite out of the treat Maxie put up to his lips.  
"Tastes good," Archie hummed happily, Maxie rolling his eyes, letting his head rest against Archie's shoulder.  
"Don't talk with your mouth full."  
Archie grunted dismissively, his arms drawing around Maxie as he looked back to the TV, his thumb tracing absent-minded circles into the redhead's thigh.  
"You weren't saying that last night—Mmff!"  
Maxie jammed the remainder of the treat into Archie's mouth, efficiently silencing him as he reached over, grabbed the remote, and turned up the volume on the television set.


End file.
